Virtue Alert: July 2005

Are You Web-wise?

By Vicki Courtney

I have a hunch I am not alone when it comes to my love/hate relationship with the Internet.  As a writer, I could hardly live without it, but as a mother, there are days when I’ve considered trying. In spite of my frustrations, I know the computer is here to stay.

Isn’t it amazing how the internet has dramatically endangered the innocence of children and posed a unique challenge to this generation of parents? Whether it’s through unwelcome (and graphic) pop-ups or searches gone wrong, the internet can give us much more than we bargained for! And its ubiquitous nature certainly makes it harder to defend the ‘youth’ of our kids!

Every time our children go online, they risk exposure to strangers, solicitations for private information, and the ability to wander far from home—as in “World Wide Web.” Though tempting, to ban our children from the Internet would be unreasonable, considering computers are a vital part of their future. Our option, then, is to safeguard them as best we can, draw appropriate boundaries, and teach them to be responsible when going online.

Good news! You don’t have to be a computer expert to protect your kids from online dangers. Rate your own ‘web-wisdom’ and then read some practical ways to keep your kids inline when they’re online.

How web-wise are you?

True or False

1. More than half of teens say that they do things online they wouldn’t want their parents to know about.
2. Most teens are not careful enough about giving out personal information online.
3. Protection must overrule personal privacy when it comes monitoring your child’s online activity.
4. There are over 4 million websites dedicated to porn.
5. IMing, chatting in chat rooms and blogging can rob my kids’ privacy and innocence if not monitored closely. (more about IM and chat rooms in a future virtue alert)
6. Filters are available to block inappropriate content, alert parents of inappropriate web use and automatically shut down the computer at specified times.

If you answered true to all of the above, you are web-wise and are probably well on your way to protecting your kid from potential dangers. Here are some tips to keep in mind.

Tips on keeping your kids inline when they’re online

1. Location, location location! Keep the computer your kids use in a central location of the home, preferably in a room that gets passed through fairly often. The kitchen and living room are good choices.
2. Install a filter on all your home computers. There are plenty of wonderful filters available, but I personally use and endorse Safe Eyes which is available for less than $50. It was recently ranked the #1 filter by Consumer Reports. You decide which categories you want to block each of your kids from (out of 35 categories). You can also block Internet access during certain times of the day and have different settings for each child. One program allows individual settings for up to four users on multiple computers in your home. It will even email you a report or send you a text message if your child attempts to visit banned websites (you determine the number of sites).
3. Boundaries! Discuss the monitoring process with your kids and inform them of what restrictions and boundaries you are creating. Talk to them about what they are allowed to do online and what sites they are allowed to visit.
4. Always explain the “why” behind your online rules and boundaries and explain that while you may trust them, you are not as trusting of others. We should never apologize for having online rules – just as we have set up other rules that lend to their protection, we should also do so with the Internet. Share with them the potential dangers with being online.
5. Consider posting your online rules on or near the computer as a reminder to your children.
6. Encourage your kids to tell you if they experience something online that makes them feel uncomfortable. Let them know you won’t overreact and pull their Internet privileges as a result. Assure your children that you want to know when they stumble upon questionable material and will not punish them for things out of their control.